What are Discrete Vacations exactly?
Discrete Vacations is a service that provides feminist women with affordable vacation packages that not only include fun in the sun, but a companion to share it with! We know how lonely and miserable it is living the feminist lie, and we know how much money you are making with that fancy degree, so we have put together a way for you to escape that nightmare and part from your twelve cats for some fun on the beach!
What do you mean, companion?
It's not a cat! It's not a teddy bear! It's real life man. He will accompany you anywhere you'd like to go. He will provide you with the best spots for food, tours, and other tourist activities like snorkeling and parasailing. You won't have to worry about cleaning the litter box or putting food in a dish! If you'd like a little something extra that can always be arranged! We know how dry it is for you older ladies on the dating apps and we have the solution.
What happens if I show up and it's a total disaster?
How could it be a disaster compared to the life your living now? Alone, television after work, check Instagram for a few likes and a little attention, let off another wage gap rant on YouTube or in your blog, what could be more disastrous than that? I'd rather be mugged on the beach than spend one more night on the couch. It's all a matter of mentality! What's yours?!
Can I talk to my guide prior to arrival?
Yes! Once you pick your package and fill out your profile an account will be created for you that gives access to a chatroom and support center that offers to answer any questions and allow you to get to know, or perhaps even flirt a little. You can also send some risky photos to help build the relationship prior to arrival. We all know you narcissistic feminist ladies love attention and being worshiped, which is included in some of our packages!
Discrete, how discrete?
Discretion is one of our most important values next to having a good time! We will never, ever, release any of your information and can even arrange for payments to be made anonymously. Hiding your affairs from your husband or boyfriend is our number one goal. We want you spending money and having fun, not worrying about your significant other or how he feels. We have no empathy either!
Cancellation and refund policy
Our cancellation and refund policy is quite simple. If you decide to cancel your package at least a month prior to your arrival you will receive a full refund. Each progressing week after this month cut off line adds an additional fee of 25% upon arrival date. Another option is to send in your cat photos. Each cat photo count's as 25% off the cancellation refund policy. If it's a super cute picture you can quite possibly get a full refund. We also offer the temper tantrum princess policy. If you complain and throw a temper tantrum you will receive an immediate full refund and a full expenses paid vacation to anywhere in the world.